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I realized that I was gay when I was a teenager. It was a confusing time, because none of the people I knew were like me. One thing that I had going for me at the time was the fact that no one could really tell that I was gay. So I managed to hide that and act normal. I mean it seemed like something good at the time, but looking back, I feel like things would have been different if people found out. Now I'm 21 and there are so many expectations on me from my parents, family and friends. They don't suspect that I'm gay, so if I come out now, it will be a real shock for them. They've gotten used to the 'straight' lucas and I don't know how they will react if I tell them that I'm homosexual. I mean my family is okay when it comes to these things, but they aren't great either. So it's a bit scary even thinking about going to them and telling them. I'd love to get some advice from the members here. How did you come out, especially to your family? I mean it must have been difficult and the outcomes must vary from one person to another. I'm afraid that I might get kicked out of my family and that my friends will treat me differently once they find out. There are no gay people in our lives, so I don't really know what will happen.
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@lucas_Texas well, you have no choice, but to tell them the truth. I know it's hard and it's easy to delay something like this. I remember going to my parents tens of times and going back to my room. That's how hard it is. However, no matter how it will end up, coming out is a big relief and that's a great reward. You won't have to hide anything from that point on. Many people live their lives in fear and hiding their real selves. I think it's better to be honest to your loved ones and 80% of the time, they deal with it positively. Homosexuality isn't something strange or taboo to people anymore. So I think it's always the best idea to come out as soon as possible. -
I know what you mean. I've thought about telling my parents countless times. But I just kept delaying that. They think that I've never had a girlfriend because I'm shy. I guess it's fair to them if I tell them the truth too, because I feel like they've been a part of a lie for a long time too. I just don't feel that it's fair.Comment
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you're spot on. you don't want to lie to anyone about your sexuality. it's up to them to deal with it and how they're going to react, but it's up to you to be honest to everyone around you. personally, coming out early was the best thing i have ever done. i know so many people who have done it later and they regret that. i came out when i was 19 and my parents were disappointed, but they came to terms with it in a few weeks. i mean of course it's something hard to swallow, but in the end they realize that we are who we are. we can't change what we naturally like. that's what my parents understood and i guess your parents will too.Comment
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That's where I'm worried about. I'm not 100% sure if they will understand it that way or if they will look at it in a positive way. Knowing my mum, I think she will freak out. My dad's kinda laid back and never panics, so I'm not worried about him. He will hide everything and deal with it himself. I'm just worried about my mum. With me being the only son, I get the feeling that she won't take it well.Comment
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Yeah!! Mums do freak out, but they're usually the first to accept you as well. That's what happened with mine. She had so many expectations like grand kids for example, so the news came as a major disappointment to her. But she had a few days for herself and was the first to come to me and tell me that she loved me no matter what. My dad took longer, but everything turned out well later. The worst thing for me was losing friends. I lost quite a lot of friends including my best friend at the time. They didn't want to hang out with me anymore or act normal. I mean I don't blame them. They had got used to hanging out with me in a certain way and they just couldn't deal with me being gay. How are your friends like? Either way, I don't think any reason is worth keeping something like this hidden. It's not good for you and the people around you. You will be doing everyone including yourself a favor by coming out. There's no argument about that. People who has made that mistake will tell you that any time without even having to think about it. So I hope that you'll gather up the courage that you need to finally do it.Comment
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nick_compton is spot on!! There no point delaying coming out. Your family and friends deserve to know the truth and more than anything, you deserve to live your life openly. So gather up some courage and tell your parents and then your friends. Set a date and do not delay that no matter what. People have waited until they had kids to come out and that's not very good. Every second you delay it, makes it so much more difficult, so keep reminding yourself that. Good luck!!Comment
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@nick_compton my friends are quite okay I guess. They are respectful towards gay people. We don't know any personally, but they don't make gay jokes or anything like that. So I think they will manage somehow. It's my parents and sisters I'm worried about. I think siblings will find it easier, because we come from the same generation and our generation understand things better. Anyway, you're right to say that waiting doesn't help. I agree that I have to do it without worrying about what will happen afterwards. I've been delaying this for way too long. @henry-lewis you guys are right. I know that there's no point delaying this. But it's so hard!! But I will get through it. I will follow your advice. Thank you so much everyone for your comments and advice. You guys really helped me out here!Comment
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