Tweet
My family took my coming out very hard. I got hellfire and damnation from my father who was a pastor. My mother went along with him cause she was afraid of the old hag. They did not speak to me for years. In fact, my dad said if I didn't change, he would cut me out of his life and his will. I didn't change because his money was not that important to me. I struggled for that fatherly love, but I came to understand that it is something I couldn't force. Today, we are in a better place as my dad gets older, but there is still a rift between us. My mom has changed more. She will call me to see how I am doing, but I suspect that she has to hide and do it. Itis really so sad.
-
-
I have heard about that hellfire and damnation response from family members, especially when they are so religious that they cannot see love behind the curtain. I don't want anything to do with people like those. I know they are your parents and you want a relationship, but sometimes you have to cut ties. I am sorry. -
I don't get it. Why do parents of all the people have so much hate towards their own gay children. I call it hate when you speak damnation over your own child. I don't like it and I am a stickler for cutting ties too, away from people that are too stuck up to see their wrong and to see that love is better than damnation.Comment
-
Not everyone in society accepts the gay lifestyle and there is nothing you can do to change that. There are many parents like yours that have spoken damnation over their gay children. So you won't be the first nor will you be the last. You have to just live like you don't give a damn. That is how I do it. I no longer care if it is a family member, friend or stranger, I say fuck you!Comment
-
Most times, they will want to tell you how bad it is to be gay and how you can turn around and change your lifestyle. I went through that with my parents. They didn't give me the damnation argument, but they were not pleased with my decision. I explained it wasn't a decision. It was something that was in me from birth and that is when they lost it and asked me to leave. We are OK now, but not as close as we were before. So I understand. It is like you cannot win with some people.Comment
-
I take particular issue with that damanation and hellfire thing cause there is nothing so far from the truth. Just because you are gay doesn't mean that you will be damned. Some people who are not gay are damned because of being murderers and such the like. But many people put you in the same category. I would advice to live your life and hope that it is accepted, but if it is not, just move on and stay in your little corner.Comment
-
Get involved with the gay community. You would be so suprised how much love you can get from people who understand where you are coming from. I say when family disown you or puts you down, choose people that show real love to you who can identify with you. That's my take!Comment
-
I have made tons of friends in the gay community since then because I feel like they get it and they are also going through similar stuff. Thanks for all the good advice and comments. I will still try to maintain a relationship with my parents as much as I can, but I won't let it consume me and force me to try to please them.Comment
Comment