Shower thoughts

[MickeyDee]

If food was priced by the amount of calories it had, people would eat a lot healthier

[StiffySteve]

[CaptainSucko]

[TylerBurden]

Women sitting down to watch a show with a box of tissues is very different than a guy sitting down to watch a show with a box of tissues.

[DurtyDirke]

The opposite of a nightmare is a daystallion

[BiggieBalls]

[TeeRex]

English teachers who insist that everything the author says symbolizes something are essentially budding conspiracy theorists

[IronBulge]

[HottieTotty]

Bacon bits are essentially pig sprinkles

[MickeyDee]

Automatically removing a post because the poster has low karma is analogous to denying a job application for an entry-level position because the applicant lacks experience.

[StiffySteve]

[CaptainSucko]

[TylerBurden]

When you watch porn, it is really just a bunch of ones and zeros turning on and off to turn you on.

[DurtyDirke]

If we could control our dreams people would abuse sleeping pills and prefer to sleep over anything else.

[BiggieBalls]

Maybe plants are farming us; providing us Oxygen until we die and decompose so they can consume us