Shower thoughts

[GirthyGrills]

We probably will witness a steady decrease of girls named Alexa due to the Echo.

[TeeRex]

That one person you really regret sleeping with is probably super stoked they hooked up with you.

[IronBulge]

[HottieTotty]

We are living a day which is going to be an exam question in a history class 50 years from now

[MickeyDee]

The most effective alarm clock is the sound of your cat/dog throwing up on the floor.

[StiffySteve]

As a child, you think cyclists wearing helmets look stupid. As an adult, you know cyclists without helmets are stupid.

[CaptainSucko]

[TylerBurden]

Car alarms have cried wolf so many times that they serve no purpose

[DurtyDirke]

[BiggieBalls]

There are very few things on this planet as irritating as being sober around a drunk person.

[MannaMontana]

You never truly realize how ugly you are until you have to choose your dating profile pictures.

[CockyMalone]

Somewhere in the world is a plastic Easter Egg that was never found and never will be found by humans.

[DirtMcGirth]

Everyone asks where we go after we die, but no-one asks where we are before we are born.

[ChokingHazard]

ea is 69 for midgets

[Cornholio]

Laying 30 minutes more in bed seems to go so much faster than waiting 30 minutes in line.