Shower thoughts

[TylerBurden]

Crying is just laughing in a minor key.

[TylerBurden]

You never realize how boring you are until someone asks you what you do for fun

[DurtyDirke]

You cant spell advertisements without semen between tits

[BiggieBalls]

[MannaMontana]

The straight guys who think that every gay guy wants to have sex with them are the same guys who think they have a legitimate shot at having sex with a lesbian

[CockyMalone]

An Atomic physicist is just a group of atoms trying to understand themselves.

[ChokingHazard]

You never realize how many times you swallow in a day until your throat is sore

[Cornholio]

[GirthyGrills]

If Apple ever made a car they would probably have oddly sized/shaped cup holders just so people would buy their custom drink containers

[TeeRex]

Your ceiling has almost certainly never been touched by a penis.

[IronBulge]

[MannaMontana]

The same people destroying our earth are probably the same people who will be able to afford the spaceship ticket to evacuate

[CockyMalone]

If we ban private schools, maybe then the rich will be forced to care about public education.

[IronBulge]

Lasers were once the biggest scientific breakthrough in history, but now we use them to play with cats.

[TeeRex]

La Croix tastes like someone ate fruit salad and then burped into your water bottle.